I'm a fucking machine!

Well... I've worked 2 nights in Asda so far. Its not too bad, but my whole body is aching! lol It actually hurts to walk cause my legs are so sore :(

Being the 'health & beauty' colleague is a pain in the ass, sorting out all the little fiddly boxes kills my knees lol Although last night my manager put me on the hair dyes and said its the worst one to do but I need to know it and then the person I was working with agreed that its awful pretty much, ....but I loved it haha. Sorting out the boxes and looking at all the colours, its my kinda job :P

Anyway, now to address the title of this blog post.. I'm a fucking machine! :D..

My first night in Asda, 10pm-6am.. and I had a telephone interview at 9.30am on the Thursday morning lol
So basically this is how it went... my first night in Asda was Wednesday, and I'd been up all day cause I couldn't sleep, and did my first 10pm-6am shift.. needless to say I was absolutely dead. So I got home anyways at about 7am, got into bed cuddled up to Dean and fell asleep, alarm goes off at 9.25am 5 mins before my interview lol. So theres me, barely 2 hours sleep aching all over half dead, phone messing up (I had to do the interview in Deans back garden cause the signal was so bad!!) and I managed to pass my Shop Direct telephone interview :D Lunacy! So I have a proper interview on Tuesday lol

Anywho, I'm pretty lonely right now :( Deans got a gig in Exeter with Korn Again and is staying over and I'm all alone in my house.. the night before Easter :( We're actually going to miss Easter this year cause he won't be back until about 6pm :( We're having an Easter week instead though so its ok :)

Bored now lol byeeee

Asda

Great news! I got the job in ASDA :)

Unfortunately I have to change my hair colour though so bye bye pink hair :( booooo Gonna get it back eventually though

I'll be on nights.. so basically I'll be getting Deans job haha weird eh

Asda ★magic★ tomorrow

Got my Asda magic interview tomorrow and I'll be honest, I'm shittinnnng myself. I really hope I get it, I could do with the money for a Sonisphere ticket haha Nah in all seriousness, the sooner I get a job the sooner me and dean can get a flat.

*sigh*

All I want right now is a job and a flat, and if that means I'm a failure then so be it but atleast I'll be happy and somewhere that I can call my own home with someone I love :/

The world is full of beauty, outrageously twisted beauty ♥

Gorgeous ladies that I absolutely adore

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Triple Six
Randomly stumbled upon her Youtube channel and never looked back. Shes gorgeous, her style is awesome, her dreads are always immaculate, and well... shes fucking nuts :) My kinda gal haha

Talena Atfield
Ex bassist for Kittie. Rewind to me age 13, she was my obsession haha

Pauley Perrette
I don't even like NCIS really, but I love Abby (her character) and then I found out its just how Pauley is = I love Pauley Perrette haha.

Morgana
Random model that I stumbled upon, love her modelling work. In my web design days, I made approx 3 or 4 Morgana based layouts for my website haha

Milla Jovovich
No shocker here, shes gorgeous. People sometimes say I look like her.. haha fuck off I wish :)

Liz Vicious
So yeah shes a porn ☆ star, who cares :) Shes fucking gorgeous and I would! haha

Linda Höstklint aka Mentalshiver
This girl is an amazing make up artist and makes awesome tutorial vids on youtube :)

Kato
The Queen of Steampunk :) She is fucking gorgeous!

^{In this photo she looks a bit like my cousin Alex haha} :)

Emilie Autumn
Not really into her music much but I absolutely love her style and think shes gorgeous :)

Audrey Kitching
The Queen of Scene haha Probably love her the least out of everyone, shes only here because her hair is so gorgeous :)

TwiggX
Model that I found on Devintart, so prettyyyyy :)

Zeroluie
The cyber queen :) This girl has some sick style! haha I certainly wouldn't be able to pull it off but she looks fabulous :)

Interview

I have an interview for ASDA next week :) woooooo

Dean went for his interview today, but its looking unlikely he'll get it because he was struggling to convince them he was ok. Heres hoping though anyways :)

Oh and yeah, Deans left for Bournemouth now :( Bummer. First night alone in almost 3 months. I think this is gonna be hard :/

Stealing from Myspace - My friends :) Very old lol

Ok so its mine and leahs 20 year anniversary this year, and according to this we've known eachother 14 years so this must be very old! haha

Leah

14 YEARS! My best mate =) Luv her to bits!
Dean

My bf, but I still think of him as a friend too. Love him more than the world <3 ^-^

Jennie

Known her since she was 12!! ^_^ So cute lol! Jennie is so cool!

Stevie

Met Ste in High School n we clicked str8 away =) Don't see him much sadly, but its great when i do!

Nikki

In that pic Nik looks like Goku! haha =) Nik rocks! And is still cute when he says "buttons"!! ;)

Matty

Matty is awesome, and is in a boss band called RowYco! His parties used to be the best too, i miss them!

Sean

Met CK in High School, and he is great! lol I don't speak 2 him loadsly lol But hes always there which is cool! :)

Andy

God how did he get here? ;) lol jk Andy is mega coolies, and altho i pretend to hate him hes cool rly lol

Lewis

What can i say?! Lewis is totally unique and ive never met any1 like him b4! =D He has the best hair in the world n i think he shud dye it rainbowy! lol

Rhys

Rhys is a total mad head! lol Although we don't have much in common he is still really cool n when we go round to his house its always a laugh! lol

If i have left anyone off im sorry, i did this in a rush! lol Msg me.

Blerhhh

So I've got a new layout up properly now with a side bar :) Looking snazzy w00pw00p haha I'm in the process of updating the links and stuff. I'm making a complete gig history which is fun, just going through each gig starting in 2003, with the help of Dean ofcourse since my memory is so bad lol

Oh and also, I've ordered some craft stuff as a treat since I had some ebay vouchers :) Got lots of Hama Beads, Ball chain for necklaces and shrink plastic although I thought it'd be A4 but the sheets are tiny lol oh well I'll have fun anyways :P

Oh and what else, ermmm.. I can't go to the Bournemouth gig which sucks :/ Was looking forward to the trip and seeing the Sound Circus as it looks like an awesome venue. Ahh well nevermind, I've been to loads of Korn Again gigs I knew I wouldn't be able to go eventually haha.

Just a bit worried about Dean to be honest :/ Hes back on his meds and last time he got a bit depressed especially when he got cramps n stuff, and usually i'd be the one to comfort him. Also hes been living in mine for ages now so we're not used to being apart. Its not usually a big deal but with it being overnight and him sleeping in the van aswell, I'm just concerned he might need to toilet or something will happen:/ Just have to wait and see I guess, I really hope it goes well for him though :) I also hope Dan actually makes it to the gig in time or the whole thing will go tits up :S lol

Anywhoooo.. ROLL ON MONDAY FOR A NIGHT OUT :) ...I'm going to play with my crafty stuff now :) Traaa laaaaa lol

Edit: Oh yeah I forgot to say! I've had a break through. Deans actually read my blog! LOL first time for everything eh :) He said he read all of 2011 so far and 2002 haha Yeah a little tip: Don't read 2002.. I was 12 so you can imagine the hilarity of it haha :P

New Blog Layout

So finally I have a proper layout :) A customized one! w00p

I actually made it myself haha *proud*

Errrr not much to say really. Today was Mothers Day and we wen't to see Unknown. Quite a good film actually, so good I guessed the ending 20mins into the film... before Dean! haha Awesome :) *double proud*

They say it comes in threes. Now I just need to get that flat on Simons Croft and I'll be triple proud :) Doubt it though lol

Oh and just for fun, a photo of me and Head from Korn FatHead from Korn Again ♥ oh ok.... Me and Dean :) haha

Uni, Jobs, and other poo

Well, its official.. I've left Uni :/ Not something I want to do obviously, I'm actually quite upset about it but I think its best for me in the long run.

Basically, this year alot of shit has happened and I've been a bag of stress and worry, and my main priority has been making sure Dean is ok, but in the process of that I was so distracted from Uni that I got behind with the lectures and work. I thought I was going to be ok at first, until I assessed the situation and realised I had 4 courseworks (2 group ones) due in less than 3 months, followed by numerous exams, AND I had to find a work placement in that time as well.

So, I had to really think about what I wanted in life and I've came to the conclusion that, yeah I probably could have scraped through the coursework, and possibly got an extremely shit mark for the year. Whats that going to get me? The games industry is extremely hard to get in to, and although there are companies in Liverpool, its pretty clear that I'd need to move away to get a job. And then theres that question, who the fuck in the right mind would hire someone who hasnt got a clue about anything? Yeah I'd scrape by, doesn't mean I know it. I've missed the lectures I don't know what I'm doing. I know bare essentials of the programming languages, the placements require someone with a grasp on them, which isn't me right now.

Looking at the bigger picture here, I'd waste 4 years of my life costing approx 25k, to then get a job in a supermarket or a barmaid or something with a degree which means nothing. No thanks.

My situation now is, I don't have as much debt, and I've only wasted 2 years instead of 4. But to be honest, its not 2 years wasted because I've learnt alot about computers/gates etc and about myself. I'm glad I took the route I have, and anyways, I have the credits from the first year.. maybe in the future when the time is right, I could go back. Barry and Anita have both done it, aged 30+ so why can't I?

And looking at the even bigger picture, me and Dean NEED to move out in the next few months. We need a stable environment and we need money. Thats not something I can give in Uni, especially when its in the back of my mind that I could be working instead of scrounging off Deans Asda wages. Dean in Asda, and me in uni, we wouldn't get benefits and my student loans would be reduced because I'd be living away from parents, so its almost impossible.

I just wish people would see it from my perspective for a change, instead of seeing me as a failure. I feel like a failure enough without people reminding me every time they look at me. I wish I'd realised this a year ago I really do, but unfortunately a year ago I didn't, because a year ago me and Dean were fine. Dean was well and we wern't looking for a flat back then.

The way people need to look at this is, I didn't CHOOSE to lose my job with Littlewoods, I got made redundant. Everyone around me (Except Dean) kept telling me to go to Uni and I thought it'd be a good idea. It didn't work out, its not for everyone and right now its just not for me in my current situation. But as I said, maybe in the future.

So, now after clearing that up, what next? Well.. Littlewoods are looking for people again, I've rang and am waiting for a reply. Asda are also taking on, so maybe just maybe. Theres a few others, but non really worth mentioning. I'd be happy with Littlewoods or Asda. But haha I'm clearly living in a dreamworld if I think I'll get either of them jobs in this climate. Leahs been looking for months with no glory. Dean has an appointment with ASDA on friday, so hopefully he'll be set up at least. I've also *reluctantly* got in touch with the job centre too so hopefully I'll hear back from them soon.

Erm so thats me at the moment, oh and my Blackberry died. Piece of shit lol Gonna havta reboot it, which I should be able to do myself *fingers crossed*

Aaaaand, oh yeah, Korn Agains gig yesterday was interesting. In Newcastle upon Lyme, in the daytime. Think they had about 7/8 people other than us who they brought with them lol They were great though non the less, and were told by the manager that they'd go down a treat in the night time :)

Then theres Bournemouth on friday and possibly a gig on Saturday. Hope I can go to them, I like going as its a break away from reality if that makes sence. No stress, no money/job/uni worries, nothing.. just me being a tag along haha or would the word be 'groupie' lol. I know it can't last forever but its a nice break away and I'm lucky to be able to go to some of them. I love road trips, I love gigs, I love KoRn, I love the lads from Korn Again, I love photography, and I love seeing Dean on stage. So, yeah, the gigs are epic haha.

Erm, nothing much else to say really. Oh, me and Dean successfully cut down the massive trees in my back garden :) They were about the touch the telephone wires which would have caused loads of shit, and plus the sun was hidden so we thought fuck it lets do it haha. Managed to cut them down to a nice size so they're still there but they're nice and neat :) Theres a massive pile of branches at the side of the house, which is actually bigger than the trees themself :') Gonna put them into garden bags today hopefully.

Oh and I made some RAINBOW DREADS :D They're gonna look amazing. Hopefully putting them in on wednesday or thursday :)

Peace. out.