hioo-deshi! i have finally found a layout 4 this livejournal thing that i kinda like.. no doubt it will change with the next post tho =/
nehu, i *did* have sumthin 2 ramble about.. but since i hav been fiddlin with this layout ive completely 4got wat it was (which is gud koz i aint sad no mur lol) nehu not that it matters koz its not like ne1 reads, except 4 stevie lol (hi hun!!)
hmmmm lemme think of sumthin 2 say..
a-ha.. i mite aswell update on.. well.. life! lol
since my last post i cant even remember wat i sed (im lazy and cant b bothered readin that hunkajunk) sumit bout dean lovin us both i prosume. well nehu i cant really remeber wat happened after that but it was like 5 weeks ago lol so yeh we'r bak 2gether, and happy.. well yeh.. yeh we'r happy =) lol jus sumtimes little things get 2 me. i refuse to listen 2 them now tho, this friday is mine and deans year aniversary and i dont wana b causin unwanted shit. i trust him.. i think. well neway yeh i think i trust him. i trust him, except 4 wen it comes 2 sarah (Stil... im terrible.. i drive myself insane!!) i no nothin will go on between them now.. and well if it duz i will kill her. even if it is his fault.. she is dead. lets just hope deans grown up and isnt a stupid prick nemur eh!? we dont wana b cin me on crimewatch now do we! ;) lol
its strange actually, everynight ive been dreaming of them talkin behind my back n stuff then cheatin or sumit like tha. im not usually the mystical type, but could this be a sign that sumthin will happen? kud it b happenin beneath my nose as i type? or am i just scared of what could happen *sigh* even when i stay at his and he cuddles me int he night, i dream of him and her 2gether..i hate it, and i hate her.
i feel so unfair, if i hate her.. i shud hate him too.. but i dont i love him.. no, i hate him aswell.. its a love/hate relationship. i hate him 4 wat hes done 2 me, but i love him 4 who he is. i just wish sum1 kud help me =(
by the way, ive remembered wat i was wanting to say before now! lol anyways enough of this im just being childish! me and dean r happy now, sarah has left us alone now.. and we'll be happy and i am going to 4get all about this.. i just need to let go and 2 trust dean. mayb he needs 2 proove 2 me he is trustworthy. no wait, he shudnt hav 2 proove anything. actually, yes he should. hes been a bastard 2 me in the past. hes been a bastard, but hes been a good boyfriend? hes kept me happy and feeling loved. IF ONLY HE KUD HAVE KEPT HIS FUCKING TONGUE 2 HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... everything would be fine that way...
*calms down* on a happier note.. only 5-ish days left till our aniversary, and still we have nothing planned! lol oh well... only a year i guess, like Dean sed, it doesnt mean notin really, it isnt a milestone.. its just a year. we'll still celebrate.. but its nothin 'that' special. uhm.. well, it is special 2 me =) longest relationship yet! *thumbs up*
oh and on an even happier thought, download is drawing closer and closer, theres only like 90odd days left!!! ooohhhhh its so exciting. shit that soad and feeder of all ppl will b headlining, altho theyr good, pfft... theyll never b legends. i will probably still go tho, there r still sum worthwhile bands goin i guess... *starts saving!*
thats all i have to say really, my backs achin now, im getting tired lol
xxx p.s. HAPPY NOW STEVIE?! I SIGNED THE FRICKIN THING!! lol jk =P
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