Poo :(

So on our first day of being off on our 11 day hols for our anniversary, work ring up and tell us we've pretty much lost ALL our overtime. Me and Dean have both been doing 5 nights each for the past 3 months, and now because they've ran out of money they're cutting my hours down to 2 nights and Dean to 3.

I honestly can't believe it, when I first found out I could stop crying to be honest. 2 nights do not cover our bills and if we don't get something sorted out we could end up losing our home :/ I'm just hoping we can sort something out with work about getting 3rd days on our contract, because with 3 nights we can just about pay the bills. We won't have money for any treats but aslong as we keep our home thats the main thing.

Its looking likely that Download Festival is now off the cards, also all our plans for our time off and anniversary are in the shitter. I was meant to be getting a coffee machine and we were gonna go the cinema and for a meal. I guess thats the steps you have to take to keep your home though, every penny counts and we're gonna havta save it all.

Oh and on top of that, Deans had tonsillitus all week, been dozing around sleeping most of the time AND MOANING haha I was hoping he would be ok in time for his gig and our anniversary on Sunday, but it seems like once he feels better in one way he gets worse in another.

Also to make things worse, I've just woken up with my throat being red raw and I can't swallow :( I guess I've caught it off him. I've made a conscious effort not to kiss him or go near him though which is so annoying :/

So all my "money free" plans are looking dim now too, I was meant to be finally meeting Ant with Stevie and Leah, but I don't wanna put them at risk :( I was also meant to be going to Deans gig and then spending time with Dean for our anniversary - but if I'm ill then I'll most likely just be in bed *sigh*

The first half of our holidays was ruined by Dean being sick and as soon as he shows signs of being better, the rest is ruined by me being ill. I work so so sooo hard and when I'm at home I sleep for 12 hours at a time because I'm so exhausted, and i feel like i get nothing in return other than a roof over my head. On our days off all we do is sleep and clean up and then its back to work. I guess thats the harsh reality of life :(

Deans 21st Party, Mr Snowman & other stuff

Well, Deans 21st is now over, much to my dismay! Had a really good weekend its a shame it has to end lol

On Friday 15th, we went to the cinema and watched Book of Eli! Very much recommended :) I love Denzel Washington anyway, hes an amazing actor, one of my favourites thats for sure.

Then on Saturday 16th was Deans birthday party :) It went really well! Me and my mum made the buffet which turned out nice, although no1 ate any of my homemade cakes but I think thats cause they were too sickly chocolatey haha thats what I like to think anyway :P

LOADS of people turned up as well, alot more than expected! haha, it was good though :) Dean was originally against having the little party and going out, but afterwards he thanked me for arranging it because he enjoyed seeing everyone ^_^

Unfortunately Deans xbox died that night but he's sending it off to get fixed so its not all bad, other than that and there not being many seats everything was perfect haha

I've decided when I move out I'll probably have a party every month! lmao Any excuse :P

In regards to the problems with some people on his actual birthday night out, I've spoke to a few people and they've apologised for fucking him off like they did, so thats good. Dean wasn't majorly bothered just disappointed, so its all been forgotten about now anyways. The main thing is he had a good weekend and thats all that matters :)

So yeah.. heres some photos from the night. I've just realised considering its Deans birthday, there arent many photos of him! haha

I'm really sorry the blog is taking ages to load now because its so image heavy! I'll make the upload size smaller

Hilda, Deans Nin, Deans Mum & my Mum. Just a photo to show off the room :)


This was the buffet :)


Dean blowing out his candles on the cake lol


Dean & Ste


Andy, Sean & Bev

Claire, Sean & Lew


Me handing out champagne :P


Leah & Ste

Haha, sorry I know theres loads of photos again. I should really stop this before the blog comes to a complete stand still! lol

~*~♥~*~

I entered mine & Deans snowman into the Sonisphere Festival competition, and we were one of the runners up!! :D

http://uk.sonispherefestivals.com/2010/01/sonisphere-snowman-competition-winner-revealed/

Deans a bit bummed that he didn't get credit for it :S I did tell them it was by him too but for some reason they just put my name lol

I'm proud anyway :) I wish we'd won free tickets to Soni though! haha

~*~♥~*~

And now for the not so good part of the blog post :/..

Yesterday I went to the Doctors with Dean about the problems hes been having, and the doc said he is going to be referred to a gastroenterologist for further investigation because it seems too bad to be IBS :(

I'm so confused with how I'm feeling, its really upsetting me. I'm happy its possibly not IBS, because that means they might be able to fix it (theres no real cure for IBS), but then thats means its something worse than IBS.. so I'm not happy at all.

I just want him to be better as soon as possible :( To me, he's always been the strongest and toughest person I know, hes my everything, and to know something is wrong with him is terrifying. I try to be strong and act as if I'm not really worried, and I don't really talk to him about it unless he says something, but deep down I think he knows I'm really worried. He hides his symptoms from me and everyone else so we don't worry too much, but its at the point now where you can tell something is wrong.

I just hope hes better soon, hes been signed out of work for 4 weeks so hopefully the rest will help whilst he gets the tests. I love him more than anything in the world, and even when hes feelings at his worst, he will still try and look after me its so cute :) I wish I could be there to help him and look after him, but I know I can't and would probably just be in the way. Worst thing in the world is feeling awful but trying to act normal for other peoples sakes.

I know he doesn't read my blogs, so it doesnt matter that I've said stuff on here which I would usually hide. If for some strange reason he does read this which is highly unlikely, its nothing he didn't already know.

~*~♥~*~

Now I just wanna give a little explanation about this blog, so that people are clearer on it and so that if Dean *does* read this, he will also know.

Regardless of what anyone might tell me, as far as im concerned my memory is deteriorating. Anyone who knows me properly will know how forgetful I am, I do believe I have some sort of memory disfunction where my brain doesn't store memories properly. I'll probably go to the doctors one day.. but ironically I always forget to make an appointment, plus to be quite honest I'd feel stupid going in and saying 'hi, i forget stuff'.. yeah.. so do billions of other people around the world.

I hate it when people try and tell me its a normal thing or it 'runs in the family' or 'oh yeahhh i'm the same', everyone forgets what they've eaten for dinner, everyone forgets what day it is etc etc, but this is different, I don't remember anything, and i dont think its normal. I'm worried I will have to argue with the doctor that something is wrong with me :/

Anyway, this blog is really just my way of.. i dunno.. keeping a log of my life, a diary. I'm not posting this just so that everyone knows my life, it sounds silly but I'm posting this so that in months or even years to come, I remember whats happened.

In 2009 I didn't post anything between January and September, I don't know why I didn't.. I have pretty much no memories from that time, other than things that were logged through photographs. You gonna tell me thats normal too? Maybe it is, I dunno.

So yeah.. I mean it is good when people read this I post links on my fb status etc. But really this is partly for people to know me and whats happening in my life, but mainly for me to know me and whats happened in my life... if that makes sense haha.

I'm tired now, I should really go to bed, been typing alot and only just realised lol. I'm in uni in the morning and I'm not in the mood :( Also my dreads were taken out today and my hairs a mess so gotta wash it in the morning.

Another stupid tuesday..

I wish tuesdays didn't exist :/
Finally got that stupid Personal development presentation over and done with today, and just my luck as I was talking I said skill wrong, I said 'skwill' lol So for the rest of my speech I was trying not to burst into laughter.. not good :P When personal development is over forever I'll be a happy person.

So anywhos, go home and have some bacon & sausages only to find that the sausages aren't fresh and now I don't feel well GAY.

~*♥*~

But lets not talk about tuesdays any more.. lets talk about the past week :D
I am certainly not one for romantic films, i like action, sci fi and comedy, period! but on Sat I got sky player on my Xbox *free movies when i want :)* so i thought why not, lets see what all the fuss is about, i'll watch Twilight.

Alls i can say is.. mmmyessum :) haha meesa loves Edward Cullen :P I wish Dean was a vampire lol oh well :P

Its weird though, Robert Pattinson who plays Edward Cullen isn't even that nice in reality, i mean hes nice.. but not *that* nice, its his character and the way the story is which makes people like him so much. I found out Leah likes Jacob, eeeeew, hes a dirty werewolf haha Thats how you know Leahs not a gothgirl at heart :P

Righto, I'm off to do some Uni work now till mummy gets in, then we're going to the new Tesco weee
x

not too good =(

well i must say, i feel like absolute shitttttttt Ive got a banging head ache, ear ache, im boiling up, i have a saw throat, and a blocked nose.. not exactly the nicest way to feel when uve got a full day of work ahead of you *sigh*

Dean came over after college to make me feel better which was kewl.. but i still feel sucky. Oh well... Download in 59days! YEAAAAH EXCELLENT! W0O0O0O0O0O0 \m/