Its been a while

Feels like everytime I post on here nowadays its me saying how long its been since my last post :/

Not gonna sit here rambling on about how much has changed... well I'll try not to haha Here goes nothing..

~ 2013 has been a really strange year for me to be honest. People have came into my life in ways I never thought possible, and really turned my world upside down. I know one day I will probably lose them, which tbh makes me very sad, so I'm trying to make the most out of it while I can. I've also made some really good friends too, and reconnected with old friends I lost a long time ago :) Oh and Leah & I are closer than ever. Love my bff so much ♥

~ Deans still the nights section leader :) Its been a rough ride for him this past year, problems with other colleagues etc but hes doing well and hopefully he will be promoted to manager in a few years :)

~ I'm now working my way towards eventually becoming a section leader :) I completed the Step on programme and became our colleague voice representative for nights, but its quite hard to attend the meetings because they're during the day and as you all know I am a creature of the night hehe :) My managers and other section leaders have been so helpful with me and have given me new responsibilities which is great, and I've been giving myself little secret tasks too hehe. Basically, each week I try to make sure I learn something new :)

~ Unfortunately, my gym regime and dieting has pretty much been none existent during 2013. I lost about a stone before Cuba and since then its been slowly creeping off by itself with just healthy eating. All in all up until about last October I had lost about 2 stone, but then this Christmas it went downhill and I ended up putting 10lbs on :(

I've just recently 2 days ago started on Hunger Suppressant tablets called 'Diethylpropion', which will hopefully encourage me to eat smaller portions and get me back on track in the gym :) I'll write another blog post with updates on this though as I want to keep a little log of how I get on with them.

~ My Mum and Jack are now engaged which is brilliant :) I'm so happy that she has finally found someone who makes her truly happy ♥ They even working towards moving into their own home together hehe

 ~ In September, we had a little moment of madness and went on holiday last minute which was amazing :) Leah & Shaun booked it last minute on the Thursday, and then Dean and I managed to book it on the Saturday.. and we left something stupid like on the Tuesday lmao. Had an awesome time, the highlight was probably going to a huge water park :) I never been to anything like it before hehe. All inclusive drinks chillin on the rooftop with a Shisha was so cool too. Loved it so much, and it was my first holiday with Leah aswell :)

~ I'm sad to say however, unfortunately Leah and Shaun have since split up and I don't think they will be getting back together either :( I'm really upset about it to be honest because we all had so many good times together and I'm really going to miss the house parties, sleep overs, holidays, meals and nights out. I know they weren't happy together though so I guess its for the best.

For me 2013 was all about loving life and finding myself, I guess thats why I didn't post much. My taste in music is a lot more diverse these days, and although I still love metal, I have also opened up to lots of other genres, especially House. I can flick from listening to Nine Inch Nails, to Sylosis, to Avicii in a line haha Its quite weird really.

I have also changed my style of clothes a bit. I'll be honest, I think it started when I began to lose weight. I looked at myself in the mirror and found a confidence I'd never had before, n then I'd see pics of me with my flab hanging out cellulite everywhere n I felt like telling my past self to cover up lol. Tbh wearing tiny checkered mini skirts, fishnet tights and vest tops just doesn't really sound too appealing anymore. If I was going on a night out to the Krazyhouse or to a festival yes, but those days are so far and few between. I love wearing skinny jeans and band tees or leggings with jumpers at the mo :) Another aspect of the change really came from working because I'm not allowed my lip bar in and they're very strict about hair colour.

I would love to have pink hair back again. Having Blonde hair is so hard to maintain! I started off by doing it myself, but my hair was in awful condition, breaking all the time and my roots were always quite yellowy. It was ok when I had pink because the colour would hide the difference in the tone, so in the end I bit the bullet and went to the hairdressers haha. I now go to voodou and get highlights every few weeks. Its veeeery expensive but its what I need to do to get nice healthy hair again :)

OK I rambled I'm sorry lol. Heres a few recent piccys :)

Me & Dean at Chester Zoo

 Me with Sarah :)

 Me with Leah & Sarah hehe I'm sorry but Leahs face on this loooool Thats y I love her so much hehe

Meeee

Meeee again :)

Gym & my diet

Been working sooo hard in the gym lately, and I finally hit my new lowest weight today :) (I say lowest, but I mean lowest since I first started this whole gym diet routine haha). I am now 13st 9.6lbs, and yes I know that is heavy but I'm 5ft 9 and considering I weighed alot more than this 2 weeks ago I'm happy. I'm on a journey and this just shows that what I'm doing is working.

We've been walking home alot more lately after work and the gym, which is about 3 and a half miles so it all adds up. I get paid tonight so I'll be ditching the bready meals and switching back to salads in work which should also give the extra boost :)

Today I bought a dress and a little skirt in the George sale for when we go to Cuba. The skirt is a size 14, and on the way home I even said to Dean it'd be a miracle if i fit into it before the holiday, but it was cheap so I can atleast try... welll, I've just tried it on and it fits :D:D:D Ok, i wont lie its a tiny bit too small, but i'd definitely get away with it with a bikini on so im happy happy right now. And the size large dress? TOO BIG lmao. This is coming from the girl who could only wear size xl, and size 20 pants last year. I've always been small on top, I'm weirly proportioned (like 14 on top, 20 on bottom - or now it'd be 12 on top, 16 on bottom) but its slowly coming off my hips and ass so this time next year hopefully I'll be saying this again but on a whole other level :)

My complete aim is to be about 11 or 12 stone, depending on how I look. I'm not really trying to go to a specific weight as such because I'm building muscle at the same time as shedding fat so I won't really notice it on the scales.

When I met Dean I was only 14, but i was the same height i am now and I weighed 9st 5lbs. I will never get to that weight again because I was only a kid then, but if i can look as skinny as i did then i'll be a happy girl

So far

Well, we've started the diet and actually its going quite well :) We had a few problems with the gym on the first day where we couldn't sign up for the membership but on Tuesday we went back and got it all sorted, so now me and dean are official members of Active Sefton gyms :D woooo haha It entitles us to go to any of their leisure centres and use the gyms, swimming pools, sauna, steam rooms, and all the classes too for £21 a month, plus we both got 1 month free too - bonus!

Oh oh oh! and this is Deans new hair :D YES he finally had it cut off! :O

Bit of a bad photo but doesn't he look sexeeehhh ;) He looks a bit like the old singer from Tesseract! I like it

I got mine done too but it looks almost exactly the same other than my roots, however the condition of it is much much better. I'm gonna keep toning it and then using Moroccan oil on my hair and not bleaching it and hopefully it'll start looking exactly how I want it. I'm gonna get some hair extensions too so my hair looks nice and long - its exciting! :)

There is also something bad that I need to write about too :( ... Deans got these weird patches all over his chest, back and legs and we didn't know what it was (at first we thought it might be psoriasis), but when we went the docs yesterday he said its a fungal infection! Which means hes probably got it off Chewy our Hamster! :( not good.

Oh well, time for work soon boooo Earn some pennies though which is all good :) I got some holiday brochures from the Strand yesterday cause we're planning on going somewhere nice at the end of the year to replace Download Festival. Tbh, its realllllllly getting me down at the mo cause everyones talking about it :( I WISH I COULD GOOOOO :'(

Body Detox and hair

So next week, Me and Dean are gonna start a body detox for 4 weeks and basically try and go the gym everyday, eat properly and not snack on crap all the time. Ou diets will be a little bit different from one another due to me liking everything and Dean only liking processed food.

Although we're only planning on doing this for 4 weeks, I don't want to go all supercharged and eat stuff I hate, because I know when the 4 weeks are up I'll be so fed up of eating cardboard by mind will instantly want cakes and pizza. I want to try and stick to foods which although aren't exactly "diet foods" as such, its something I'll enjoy and will be able to live on for the rest of my life. When I'm rummaging through the cupboards at stupid o'clock I want my mind to instantly think of soup, cereal, pasta etc instead of Pot Noodles, toast and chocolate.

Obviously, in the next 4 weeks there will be occasions when I can't stick to the routine, such as Leahs Birthday Party, which is fine aslong as I do well up until then and afterwards one night of treats won't hurt :)

I'm gonna try and keep a log to see how well I do, which I'll also try and put on the internet to motivate me to stick to it.

♥

Also, next week we're both going to get our hair cut yaaaay :) My hair is just a disaster, its so dry, I've tried everything and its just horrible. I think what makes it worse is that it isn't anywhere near the colour I want either. I'm still not sure whether to spend a fortune in a shop to get my roots done and for them to get it the colour I want ASWELL as cut it, I know it'll cost an absolute fortune though : / We'll see but I'm sure I'll get there eventually even if my hair is a lesbian cut by then haha I'll get extensions :P

Deans getting all his hair cut off :O yup, now that he has quit Korn Again... (for a bazillion reasons, but pretty much cause hes fed up of a multitude of things, and also because he wants to get a promotion in Asda) ...he has no reason to keep it basically. If he goes to the interview in Asda with short hair all smart then he'll look like hes really made an effort so thats good.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... when we go on holiday at the end of the year, hopefully I'll 1) have lost 3 stone and 2) have larrrvly hair again :)

Download Festival ♥

We're going to Download Festival! woop woop :D Only 4 weeks to go and its gonna be EPIIIIC. I'm just starting to write a list now of what we'll need to bring. I refuse to bring lots with me this year though, I alwayssss end up bringing a load of crap with me and regret it - well not this time!

Also, my hair is still a load of shit :/ Its blonde now, but more of a yellowy blonde and its in super bad condition. I've left it for about 5 weeks now to try and get some strength back but its still breaking all the time. I'm really not happy with it cause I was hoping for a much much lighter colour, but my hairs having non of it :( I'm gonna try one last bleaching session next week and if it doesn't work I think I might end up giving in.

Heres a pic of my hair. Its alot lighter now than it was then but you can kinda see the yellowyness. Its all patchy and now my roots are horrendous haha It'll defo be sorted for Download though!

Oh and as for the gym, its been going well although I've not been able to go for the past week or so cause I've been really struggling with money :( I've been making up for it at home through by doing weights and stuff.

I had my half way appointment at the nac a few weeks ago, and it went really well :)  Gina (my personal trainer/advisor) said I've been doing great and whatever I'm doing its working. I lost 7cm off my waist and my heart and lungs were alot healthier. As I haven't been going the gym lately, I prosume its gone a bit down hill, but I feel good inside and I think thats the main thing. I used to get really down cause I felt flumpy and horrible, but now although I haven't changed much physically I feel alot better. This is a life change not a phase and thats whats good about it :) Once my Sefton Lifestyles period is over, I'm going to buy a monthly membership.

Deans been training hard too which is great! He's in the middle of his own little 'body transformation' and is going to get into shape and build muscle on his arms and chest and stuff. I've always thought he was muscley anyway and he certainly isn't fat or anything, but I'm not going to stop him because I know from experience if you're not happy with your body even if its completely fine, it can really get you down. It helps me aswell because it motivates me to work out too :)

..<<~*~♥~*~>> ..

ALSOOOO...Went to see Sylosis on 1st May just spontaneously haha :D Didn't even know they were playing and then in the morning I saw on facebook that they were in Liverpool n I was like noooooo, so then we decided to go :) They played with 2 bands called Hang the Bastards and Chapters. Can honestly say I wasn't that keen on Hang the Bastards but Chapters were pretty cool, and ofcouse, Sylosis were AWESOMMMME.

AAANNNNNDDDD.... Tonight, we are going to see SSCCAARR SSYYMMMMEETTRRYY. Fucking yes please. I'm so excited, been waiting to see these guys since forever.

Hair, Weight and Gym

Well, my hairs disaster and is still brown lol I haven't had a chance to dye in Blonde yet, all i've had time to do is remove the black dye build up. After all that kafuffle over losing our hours in work, they are now giving us loads of overtime because people are off. Not sure how long it will last, but for now we are safe and once again working our butts off.

I'm still working hard in the gym too, been going twice a week for the past 2 months now (except for when i was sick) and it feels really good :) I've not seen many changes in my weight really although I've lost 5 pounds, but I've noticed alot of change cardio wise.

On my Induction, I did 10 mins on the bike and I was knackered, then I only did testers on all of the equipment and it was killing me. I tried the cross trainer on level 1 and after 3 minutes I was so out of breath and I could barely walk or anything. Straight away I turned round to Dean and said theres no way in hell I'll be using the cross trainer I'll justs stick to the other stuff haha

But, ofcourse I did :) This morning I stayed on the Cross Trainer for 10 minutes, building up the levels to the point where I was on level 6 :) I also do 10 minutes every visit on the rower and I've been building up the levels, now I use Level 6 and on my first visit I used to be Level 4 for 3 minutes :)

I'm definitely improving, I also think I'll be getting a membership when I've finished my Sefton Lifestyles course too. I just hope I can start losing some serious weight soon.

I don't really eat much either which is strange, I work hard and eat little and sleep alot lol. Usually my routine is, I get up at 8pm and get ready for my night shift, get into work at 10pm and then go for my lunch at 12.30am. Most of the time I'll eat a salad, but sometimes (usually on my first night back) I'll have chips and a slice of pizza but not a massive portion only small. I've stopped buying chocolate and crisps cause that was a really bad habit haha. Then I have another break at 3am and I eat another banana or a frube or Sunbites, and then when I get home from work I'll have toast. I have a really physical job aswell, lifting and running around all night, and when I get in I stay up until about 10am then go to sleep. Aaaaand repeat haha. Soo, not really sure what I'm doing wrong :/

I'm going to put my treadmill in the living room and bring my exercise bike here, so that on my days I'm not in the gym I'll do 15/30mins a day at least.

At the moment my weight is 13st 12lbs and I'm 5ft 10. My BMI is 27.84 according to the NHS :) Lets hope I can change this soon wooooo